It’s not always easy to keep your cool when people are eating your friends. My best childhood friends were the curious, gentle cows who’d listen to every detail of what I was going through that day.
Now, when I see a person mindlessly chewing a medium-rare steak I feel the child in me tighten her jaw. Sometimes the teenager in me wants to mock or make a sarcastic remark. Other times I catch myself looking down on people and notice my nose and chin cocked an inch or two higher than usual.
We’ve all seen or been a vegan who cares deeply but doesn’t have the skills to communicate in a way that could actually help animals, people and the environment. Even if you have good communication skills, you’ve probably been in situations that cause you to react inappropriately. It’s easy to slip into one of these default identities.
The silent type won’t take the risk of sharing relevant information or intuitive feelings with people who could benefit from their knowledge. If there’s any potential for conflict, their lips are sealed. They haven’t come to realize that the worst kind of censorship is self-censorship.
The warrior type steps up to the plate, but their aggressiveness gives the whole vegan movement a bad name. Unknowingly, they do more harm than good. They’re the role models for the phrase, “You strengthen what you most oppose.”
The righteous type misses opportunities to connect when they come from a place of being a know-it-all. Without connection, there is no trust. Without trust, nothing changes. They’ve forgotten that a guide walks with people and shares personal stories rather than preaching from a pulpit.
The skills I’ve learned and taught in improvisation classes have been a lifesaver, literally, for the animals. Inspiring one person to become vegan saves hundreds of animals’ lives. Improv training also helps me reduce the emotional stress I feel when dealing with people who challenge me on topics I care deeply about.
Many people think of improv as standup comedy, but it’s really learning to be present with others, accepting what’s happening in the moment and speaking your truth while making your scene partner look good. (It’s simple, but not always easy.)
Here are three basic improv principals to use next time you get into a conversation about veganism, animal rights or animal welfare.
1) Accept what the person gives you. You don’t have to agree. What this means in improvisation is that you have an obligation to see and hear what your scene partner is offering to the scene. Notice their body language, words and emotions. Then acknowledge what’s been given –– not what you wished they would have said, but simply accepting what is. Cardinal rule: Don’t try to fix them or change them.
2) Yes, and… means you take what’s been offered and build on it. Rather than debating with a ‘but’, add to what’s been said. If someone says they still enjoy a steak once in a while, you can say, “Yes, and if everyone cut back like you have there’d be less pollution, disease and suffering on the planet.” It takes creativity, but look for something you can agree on. This makes it easier to move the scene forward, rather than debate, which causes stagnation.
3) Trust your inner voice. Now that you’ve connected and acknowledged what’s true for your scene partner, it’s your turn. Express a fact or feeling that comes to you in the moment. When you’re truly connected in the moment and allow what wants to be said, it will be perfect. You don’t have to be funny or clever or intellectual. Just be real without rambling and that will be your most effective response.
To make your communication memorable, powerful and effective, take an improv class or join us at www.VegansinVegas.com where I’ll be hosting a workshop in May. Online support is also available at www.GivingVoiceToYourCause.com. Be a shining light with a cool head and a warm heart.