There’s a difference in fearfully running away and loving yourself enough to walk away from a low-vibe situation.
I went to table tennis to get a little exercise and see an old friend. We play doubles at this club and I noticed the player on the other team was criticizing his partner with every move she made. The more he criticized, the more she constricted and made mistakes. It was disheartening to witness not to mention how it must have felt for her. But who knows, maybe she grew up with this kind of abuse and it made her feel comfortable in an odd sort of way.
When the game is over, the unspoken rules are to swap partners and play again. The last person in the room I wanted to partner up with was this criticizing man. Wouldn’t you know it we got matched up. I decided to use it as a growing opportunity and go with the flow. My friend didn’t show up that day so I really didn’t care if I stayed the entire time or not. Before we even started our game my partner found something to criticize in me. There have been plenty of times I go into react mode, but this wasn’t one of them. I simply looked in his eye and said, “Three times, I’m out.” He knew I was referring to his critical remarks. It was fun. The second involuntary criticism out of his mouth I said, “That’s two. One more and I’m walking.” And I would have.
It felt wonderfully powerful to know that I cared more about my well-being than staying for the whole game. No drama, just boundaries. He began to joke and understand that bad ‘juju’ wasn’t acceptable in my world. We won, I shook his hand and went on to the next game.
The thing I learned was that not only did I feel a new level of self-respect and love for myself, but he stopped focussing on negativity while I was in the room. Who knows how far the ripple effect went, but I still smile when I think about it.
Is there something in your life that’s ready to be walked away from? Leave a comment, we’d love to hear from you!
