With all my years of training, there are still times I wince as I catch myself reacting inappropriately. I’ve found that when I say something I regret, it’s often because of the pressure that’s been building from unexpressed feelings. The more you hold yourself back, the greater the chance of snapping when the load gets too much. Children and animals naturally deal with issues as they’re happening and don’t hold a lot of tension in their body.
If you want less tension and more confidence, use these tips:
Water – be real about what you feel. If a movie is sad, cry. If something upsets you, find a safe way to release your feelings. Get a punching bag or another creative outlet. If you try to hide it, it will stay with you and add to your pressure. You’ll communicate more clearly when you don’t have to maneuver around unresolved feelings.
Fire – Speak up when you need to. When you see abuse, address it. If you’re tempted to complain about some injustice, take action instead. Action toward a better solution will help move it from your body so you don’t have to hold onto it. If there’s something you still feel angry about from your past, do yourself a favor and process it using one of the many personal development tools.
Earth – Walk your path and live your values. Values are to be lived, not put on a pedestal or forced on others. If you ever feel like trying to convince someone else of your values, note where you’re holding back and then live them more fully. You’ll have a lot less pressure, feel more grounded and make changes quicker.
Air – Have you ever heard someone speak without a breathing between thoughts? They might think they’re moving forward but it actually holds everyone back. Stopping to breathe between points gives the listener a chance to integrate what’s been said so they can move forward to the next point. If they have a question it gives them a chance to ask. Pausing at the right time releases tension and builds trust.