We make vows with the power of our words, whether spoken to thousands or under our breath in a moment of despair.
Have you ever had a problem that just won’t go away? (No matter how many books you read or affirmations you state) Months go by or sometimes decades.
For me this problem was the ending of yet another relationship. My rational mind could not figure out why. I took the most unconventional approach to this problem and started painting. Abstract. Sometimes images show up when you just let the brush flow where it wants. This is what nanchalantly came out in one of mine.
You might see a jumping trout like I did at first. But then, I saw the 2 pointy ears, a single eye, brown tail and suddenly a horse was galloping toward me.
I didn’t think much about it, but waking up the next morning, I remembered a day my dad loaded my horse in a grain truck for stud services. When we got home, he thought Sophie would jump out of the 5 feet tall grain box opening. After all, he thought, I’d been training her to jump fences all summer long.
Well… jumping out of an unfamiliar truck and being guided over a familiar fence is different. My newly impregnated, frightened mare was as far away from that gate opening as possible, stuck like velcro to the front wall of the truckbed. My dad, in his frustration, pulled the hydraulic switch and the bed of the grain truck began angling upward. I couldn’t believe my eyes and a gamut of emotions welled up. Panic. Anger. Powerlessness.
My sweet horse slid toward the opening. Half-falling, half-jumping she landed on the ground, miraculously not breaking a leg.
I took the lead rope, gently walked her away and stroked her neck. I remember decades later how I emphatically whispered to her that, “He’ll never get close to us again.”
When I looked at the abstract painting, I realized how that vow lodged in my DNA and sabotaged every relationship I was in.
No one had gotten close to me. I wouldn’t let them.
That’s the power of words.
Realizing that what made sense at the time didn’t serve me any longer, I let it go.
When everything you’ve tried isn’t working, try something new to get unstuck.
My current outlet is abstract painting, but until last month, I hadn’t painted at all.
Sometimes it takes something completely different than you’re used to to solve a problem.
Creativity takes us to a higher level of consciousness where forces greater than the rational mind are there to help you.
If you’d like support getting unstuck, I’d love to guide you into unexplored territory where answers are revealed. Reach out and we’ll explore a creative way for you to move forward. Send me an email: z at pamelaziemann.com for a complementary consult. Put “Help me get unstuck” in the subject line.
Really interesting post. Got me wondering. Did you find that recalling this and working through it helped with your relationships?
Hi Laura, Yes, recalling this and working through it definitely helped with my relationships. More layers unravel continuously, not always easy but it is exciting to expand. My old self resisted. New self says, “Bring It On!”