If you’re like most people, most of your best learning comes from observing, what works and what doesn’t work. You’ve seen authority figures try to control others and intimidate them into performing a certain way. It may have worked twenty years ago, but not anymore.
I attended a workshop a couple summers ago where we camped on 350 beautiful Canadian acres and shared the space with 16 horses. The first night I woke up at 3 am to a gentle being who was curious about this person sharing his space. As many books as I’ve read about setting boundaries and communicating effectively, I learned more about true power from observing how horses work in a herd.
One thing that became very apparent by watching the herd was that when one horse (or person) enters someone else’s space it’s up to the person in the space to set the boundaries. When someone enters your space, it’s up to you to set the boundaries. I saw how the horses lived in a group using this simple method. I started wondering how many times people came into my space and I had left it up to them to set boundaries. It doesn’t work. So many times, especially as females, we’re taught to be ‘nice’ which can be a four letter word that’s not effective at all. It comes from a derivative of boring and ignorant. Hardly a way to get anything done in a leadership role, whether that’s your individual life or your role as a group leader. Another extreme is being aggressive which is really just a sign of fear. Being assertive is where all the power is. Thinking of your needs as well as the needs of those around you. The sign of a truly great leader is someone who continues to find that balance between passive and aggressive into a place where you state your needs while considering the effect your communication has on others.
I’m jazzed to join with Amanda at Roam Consulting here in the Seattle area to put on a workshop where we work with horses guiding you to a better understanding of your communication strengths and gaps. You’ll learn how the body language you typically use is helping or hurting the way others perceive you. Horses are tuned into body language and will quickly give you feedback along with Amanda and I about the congruency of your words, vocal tone and body language and how this effects your ability to make positive changes in your life and our world. This video will give you more details of the workshop. We hope you decide to join us.
http://leadershipandhorsesense.eventbrite.com/